Saturday, 29 December 2012

Closure to the Year 2012

It's been an eventful year for Daughters Of Tomorrow and women all over the world. The year closed with a heart-wrenching tragedy. 2 young girls suffered in the closing months of 2012 - 1 in Pakistan and 1 in India, and they represent millions more. Nevertheless they herald a new dawn of activism for women's rights. May 2013 be a year of hope and progress for women everywhere. 

Thank you to each and every DOT supporter who paid attention, who cared, who gave something, bought something, shared something. We will need your continued support next year to expand DOT's work in awareness building and livelihoods building! 

Have a Happening New Year!

Remembrance Day for India gang-rape victim

Daughters Of Tomorrow makes 29th December of each year a Remembrance Day for this India's Daughter. 

From our Founder:

"Our deepest condolences to the victim and her family. Let not their suffering be in vain. The Indian government needs to address this. Let's not forget about this after media attention peters off. It is imperative that the pressure continues on the government to take concrete and long-term action to protect its women. 

Recruiting women into the police is a superficial gesture. I say, appoint a female police commissioner, or perhaps they need to accept an international team of consultants to babysit them to make sure their police and judicial system caters adequately for protection of women? 

I am anxious and outraged as an onlooker of such continued atrocities against our sisters. I would like to make this day a Remembrance Day every year, to remind our networks and community, and friends, to remind their friends in India - to evaluate their government's actions, to continue the demand for action and justice, until adequate change has been made in the country to make it safe for women. 

This agenda cannot be forgotten."

Thursday, 20 December 2012

2012. The year of the strong women?

Dear Women and Daughters of Today, 

Beware of such media reporting and its unconscious effect on your mindset.

Our Founder's view:

"Enough of associating a woman's virtue and strength with silent suffering, and staying in unfair relationships. Women have been "conditioned" to think suffering silently is a virtue since the beginning of time, and now it's being lauded as a "strong woman" trait?? What b***s**t.

Whether a person chooses to stay or leave an unfaithful relationship is a matter of personal choice and not an indication of "strength" or weakness to be speculated and judged upon in the media.

Fellow women, are we under pressure to normalize the abnormal, accept the unacceptable, compromise our own well-being and rights to a fair and faithful relationship, because our society tells us that makes us a "good woman"? 

Consider the messages we are sending to our daughters by our decisions to stay in unfulfilling, abusive or unfaithful marriages. That it is right to suffer in silence? That their well-being must be subjugated to the "greater good" of the family? 

Let's challenge the "Sacrificial Woman" as the good woman ideal, and champion the Fulfilled Woman as the new ideal. If emotional, mental, and economic fulfillment is what we want our daughters to have for themselves, we need to start reaching for those ourselves today."

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

This lady was way ahead of her time, and gutsy!

How many of us modern women stand our ground this well? Something to ponder about...
This is the prenup written by Amelia Earhart in 1931. 

Her terms included an open marriage and "some place where I can go to be myself, now and then, for I cannot guarantee to endure at all times the confinement of even and attractive cage."

"On our life together, I want you to understand I shall not hold you to any midaevil code of faithfulness..."

Aerhart was the first female aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic. In 1937, she went missing over the Pacific Ocean while attempting to set a record for an around the world flight. Aerhart married George P Putnam in 1931 and remained so until her disappearance.

20 things

1. Play a sport. 
It will teach you how to win honorably, 
lose gracefully, respect authority, 
work with others, manage your time 
and stay out of trouble. 
And maybe even throw or catch.

2. You will set the tone 
for the sexual relationship, 
so don't take something away from her 
that you can't give back.

3. Use careful aim when you pee. 
Somebody's got to clean that up, you know.

4. Save money when you're young 
because you're going to need it someday.

5. Allow me to introduce you 
to the dishwasher, oven, 
washing machine, iron, 
vacuum, mop and broom. 
Now please go use them.

6. Always treat people with the respect you wish to be treated with.

7. Don't ever be a bully 
and don't ever start a fight
but if some idiot clocks you, 
please defend yourself.

8. Your knowledge and education is something
that nobody can take away from you.

9. Treat women kindly. 
Forever is a long time to live alone 
and it's even longer to live with somebody 
who hates your guts.

10. Take pride in your appearance.

11. Be strong and tender at the same time.

12. A woman can do everything that you can do. 
This includes her having a successful career 
and you changing diapers at 3 A.M. 
Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.

13. "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir" 
still go a long way.

14. The reason that they're called "private parts" 
is because they're "private". 
Please do not scratch them in public.

15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. 
Be a good leader and others will follow.

16. Bringing her flowers for no reason 
is always a good idea.

17. It is better to be kind
than to be right.

18. A sense of humor
goes a long way 
in the healing process.

19. Please choose your spouse wisely. 
My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me 
spending time with you and my grandchildren.

20. Remember to call your mother 
because I might be missing you.

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

A precious conversation

One of our friends Bee Lian posted this today, and we thought it's something lovely to share with all high-strung working mums - a precious conversation with her daughter.

"Just when I thought I had a bad start at the beginning of the week... my 4yo daughter showed me otherwise. It was truly a moment of "enlightenment", for me to realise that the super fast-paced and busy work life that I've been living for the past year(s) had made me a servant to my neatly organised schedule that allows minimal leeway (or patience) for any deviation.

I have forgotten how to slow down, how to take a break when the opportunity or need arises... to spend more time with my loved ones and to appreciate the people and things around me! My daughter had reminded me today. 

Our conversations went like these...

Me : OMG, I can't find my car key, and daddy had left all our things in the car before he went off!
Shermaine : "It's ok mummy (she likes to say this), I will help you find." After some time, she was very apologetic and said "Mummy, I cannot think anymore... I just don't know where the key is." Poor gal had been sitting quietly on the sofa trying to crack her tiny brain over the whereabout of the missing key, while I searched the whole house.

Me :"Oh dear, I really can't find the car key. Now I can't go into office and I can't even work from home without my laptop! How am I gonna finish my work... (and I started complaining abt the loads of outstanding work)
Shermaine was listening to my complaints and said calmly "Call your lao ban (boss) and tell him you lost your car key and can't go to work. Your lao ban will not scold you if you tell him the reason. Also help me call my Zhang laoshi and Ms Belle and tell them Shermaine can't go to school today, ok?"

Me :"Ok, later we take a cab and I'll send you to ah ma's place"
Shermaine :"Mummy, we can take bus 99... it's very near."
Indeed, it's only 4 bus-stops away, and I did not think twice when I thought of the presumably most convenient mode of transport.

When we finally reached, Shermaine seemed happy and said "It's a lucky day today (what?!?!)... because I don't have to go to school and I can go to ah ma's place. Mummy, you will stay with me, right?" After I nodded my head, she beamed and said "I'm very happy today!"

Monday, 17 December 2012

DOT Miracle Library

Thank you everyone who helped with our Stand With Malala book donation drive last month, as well as the aftermath collection!

Special thanks to The Pit gym and Pamela, Lynn Chia and Sam from APT Showfreight, Valerie Ko from PSB Academy, and all other volunteers who gave your time and effort!