Wednesday, 19 December 2012

20 things

1. Play a sport. 
It will teach you how to win honorably, 
lose gracefully, respect authority, 
work with others, manage your time 
and stay out of trouble. 
And maybe even throw or catch.

2. You will set the tone 
for the sexual relationship, 
so don't take something away from her 
that you can't give back.

3. Use careful aim when you pee. 
Somebody's got to clean that up, you know.

4. Save money when you're young 
because you're going to need it someday.

5. Allow me to introduce you 
to the dishwasher, oven, 
washing machine, iron, 
vacuum, mop and broom. 
Now please go use them.

6. Always treat people with the respect you wish to be treated with.

7. Don't ever be a bully 
and don't ever start a fight
but if some idiot clocks you, 
please defend yourself.

8. Your knowledge and education is something
that nobody can take away from you.

9. Treat women kindly. 
Forever is a long time to live alone 
and it's even longer to live with somebody 
who hates your guts.

10. Take pride in your appearance.

11. Be strong and tender at the same time.

12. A woman can do everything that you can do. 
This includes her having a successful career 
and you changing diapers at 3 A.M. 
Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.

13. "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir" 
still go a long way.

14. The reason that they're called "private parts" 
is because they're "private". 
Please do not scratch them in public.

15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. 
Be a good leader and others will follow.

16. Bringing her flowers for no reason 
is always a good idea.

17. It is better to be kind
than to be right.

18. A sense of humor
goes a long way 
in the healing process.

19. Please choose your spouse wisely. 
My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me 
spending time with you and my grandchildren.

20. Remember to call your mother 
because I might be missing you.

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